Rapt by The Rapture: May 21st, 2011

REPENT, HEATHENS! Today is Rapture day. That means, according to Biblical / Christian legend, that 250,000 chosen “pure” souls will at some point, instantaneously rise to Heaven, painlessly and gracefully spared from the apocalyptic times following this event, known as the Tribulation. The Tribulation will, for lack of a better word, fuck up those of us remaining over the coming months and send us to Hell. Want richer details? Read the Revelations. It’s juicy. So awesome, in fact, that I don’t understand why Jerry Bruckheimer or Michael Bay or even Peter Jackson have yet to adapt it into a box office smash hit.

So… why May 21st, 2011? Pretty sure the Bible doesn’t mention this date. So how did this latest doomsday prophecy come about?

The culprit behind this latest global obsession that’s managed to spread faster than Planking: A guy named Harold Camping. A retired civil engineer from California, USA, whose mathematical calculations and reading of the Bible have convinced him it all comes to an end Saturday.

God has given sooo much information in the Bible about this, and so many proofs, and so many signs, that we know it is absolutely going to happen without any question at all,” Camping told New York magazine this month.

Well, OK then. When you put it that way.

According to Camping, who heads the Family Radio Christian network in California, he unlocked the secret date of Rapture by studying Bible passages:

He combined verses in Genesis 7:4 (“Seven days from now I will send rain on the earth”) and 2 Peter 3:8 (“With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day”) to conclude that the Doomsday – May 21, 2011 – will take place 7000 years after the Great Flood (4990 B.C.).

According to Camping, on May 21, 2011 the world would be plagued by massive earthquakes and other natural disasters that would make Japan’s earthquake in March “look like a Sunday school picnic in comparison”. Camping said the natural disasters will continue until October 2011, when the world will be destroyed completely.

He is quite sure about his prophecy. “We know without any shadow of a doubt it is going to happen,” he said.

Without any shadow of a doubt it is going to happen… just not necessarilly on May 21st, 2011, right?

I haven’t found a single person on Twitter, Facebook, the media, or in real life, who takes this date seriously. However, reports are coming in from Internet sources that there are minor numbers of extremists (what other word could you use… nutjobs?) who are taking to the streets, reading Bible verses aloud, wearing signs, you know … the regular thing that these people do during the week, probably… In preparation for God’s Big Day. Some are even hosting Rapture Parties. (see the links below for more.)

Before we go, however, a couple of things. You should know that Camping also predicted the world might possibly end back in 1994, but all that really happened then was a Republican takeover of the House of Representatives. Alarming, perhaps, but hardly a seven-headed, ten-horned beast rising from the sea to make war on heaven.

Now, in the Old Testament, when somebody claimed to be a prophet speaking in the name of the Lord, and it turned out what he said would happen didn’t, it was considered safe to ignore the guy.

Consider Deuteronomy 18:22: “If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the Lord does not take place or come true, that is a message the Lord has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him.”

Meaning, if we’re all still around to read my Sunday column, it’s cool.

Source: Read this quickly for the end of the world is at hand! | Steve Sebelius

If you’re a Christian who likes to take certain assurances from the Bible, a book that I personally consider full of cohesive wisdom despite it’s age and number of authors, you should note the following verse:

Matthew 24:36: “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the son, but only the father.”

The phrase is repeated in the gospel of Mark. So either Camping is God himself, or he’s just making things up.

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Categories: Beliefs, Morals, People

Author:Andrew Beato

CEO, Chief Editor and founder of Intentious. Passionate comment enthusiast, amateur philosopher, Quora contributor, audiobook and general knowledge addict.

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One Comment on “Rapt by The Rapture: May 21st, 2011”

  1. James Hill
    May 21, 2011 at 5:03 pm #

    There is a nice little “will you be raptured” flowchart here:

    http://peasandcougars.wordpress.com/2011/05/19/will-you-be-raptured-flowchart/

    Short answer: there’s a lot of hurt in store for any woman who happens to be on her period and anyone who has worn wool and leather.

    Also, what time zone will the rapture occur in? Obviously it’s not Aussie time, so I’m guessing they’re reckoning based off time at the center of the universe: california

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